From time to time, I come across an item in the news that leaves me wondering whether I should laugh or cry.  One such news article was published recently.  The article was about the term “personal boundaries.”  “Personal boundaries” is a term used by the social sciences to describe the self-imposed limits on behavior that people employ in order to interact appropriately with one another. 

It is important to note that “personal boundaries” are behavioral limits one imposes on oneself.  Further, these behavioral limitations are not for the purpose of avoiding punishment or gaining a benefit; rather, they are for the purpose of fostering normal, healthy relationships. 

According to the news article I saw recently, the concept of personal boundaries has been corrupted by some people who use the terminology for manipulative purposes.  This recent innovation allows one to say to another person, “I have a personal boundary that prevents me from going to the movies today; that means you have to come to the coffee shop with me.”  This approach to interpersonal relationships is purely manipulative and, as all manipulative behavior is fundamentally dishonest, this approach represents the opposite of what the social sciences define as personal boundaries. 

If you’re not familiar with the term “personal boundaries,” you might be struggling to make sense of the recent misuse of the concept. If that is the case, today’s Gospel reading provides a simple illustration of personal boundaries and their value. 

The wealthy man had a legitimate expectation of receiving payment of a loan given to the debtor.  When the debtor pleaded for more time to repay the loan, the wealthy man simply forgave the entire debt.  This was not an astute business decision; rather, it was an extraordinary act of mercy and generosity. 

The wealthy man’s extraordinary compassion is an example of personal boundaries.  He was a fundamentally merciful person and was unwilling to act against his merciful nature.  When presented with a difficult situation, the wealthy man allowed his behavior to be directed by his personality rather than by the circumstances.  He acted mercifully despite the huge sum of money owed to him.   

The parable provides graphic illustration of the depth of the wealthy man’s mercy.  Our translation says that the debtor owed the wealthy man “a huge amount.” (Mt 18:24)  The text of the Gospel, however, provides a monetary figure that quantifies the debt.  The debtor owed his wealthy creditor the equivalent of 270,000 years of salary for an average worker at the time.  Today, in Pinellas County, that would equate roughly to the range of 10 to 16 billion dollars. 

The wealthy man’s extraordinary character was not, however, the end of the story.  Immediately upon being forgiven his entire debt, the debtor demanded repayment from a peer.  Again, the parable provides a graphic illustration of the avarice of the debtor; the amount owed him by his peer was 0.0001% (a millionth), of what he himself had owed his wealthy creditor. 

When the wealthy man discovered his debtor’s crass and self-serving behavior, he was forced to choose between mercifulness to the debtor and mercifulness to the debtor’s peer.  It is important to note that this is not a parable about divine retribution, nor is it intended to justify retribution toward others.  Rather, it is a parable about being a just and honest person.  The debtor was a fundamentally dishonest person.  He had been the subject of incredible generosity but was unable to admit this to himself.  Instead of being grateful for his good fortune, he chose to be merciless to someone whose debt was miniscule compared to his own. 

If we can be honest with ourselves, we have received greater mercy from God than we could ever merit; the only appropriate response, therefore, is to be as merciful as possible with other people. 

Both the ironical news article I mentioned above, and the parable, illustrate a fundamental truth about human nature, namely, that we tend toward profound dishonesty.  We are happy to impose limits on others that we will never embrace ourselves.  We use other people’s good intentions to serve our own selfish motives.  We give ourselves permission for behavior that we would complain about if it was directed toward ourselves. 

Jesus told this parable in response to Simon Peter’s question, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” (Mt 18:21)  Jesus’ answer to Simon Peter’s question was that forgiveness cannot be measured in terms of accountancy; rather, forgiveness is measurable only in terms of God’s infinite mercy poured out completely for God’s People.  Our forgiveness of others, then, must be as limitless and dependable as God’s forgiveness. 

The parable also provides an illustration of what Jesus meant when he preached about redemption.  The salvation God offers the faithful is a promise of neither an idyllic life nor of escape from this world; rather, it is a promise of redemption from the dishonesty and selfishness that make life in this world so burdensome.  Salvation is God’s gift to us of the possibility of happy, healthy, and holy relationships. 

If you want to experience salvation as something more than the merely conceptual, Jesus invites you to a complete change of heart, that is, the abandonment of dishonesty, manipulative behavior, strained relationships, and selfishness.  Salvation is the invitation to a change of heart that leads to freedom from sin.  This salvation and freedom are not merely attractive ideas; they are intended to be experienced and expressed in one’s daily life.  As God wishes us to live in happiness rather than sadness, God invites and allows us to experience daily the freedom of extending to others the forgiveness we have received from God.