Last week, there was an article in the news about a growing trend in religious ministry.  If you want a vocation in religious ministry, but don’t like conventional religion or dealing with people’s problems, you can now become a pet chaplain. 

Yes, pet chaplaincy is the new religious trend in the United States.  The trend is being driven by pet owners who want funeral services for their deceased pets.  As a pet chaplain, you will have to do nothing more than pray that Fido and/or Fluffy enjoys a blissful non-denominational afterlife in pet paradise.  I guess there really is no such thing as a bad dog. 

Most people think they’re going to heaven.  Most think their pets will go to heaven.  I wonder, however, how many people make the effort required to gain heaven’s rewards.  The parable in today’s Gospel reading explains exactly what is necessary to enjoy an eternity of pet owner’s bliss with your dog, cat, bird, fish, or exotic animal. 

A wealthy man’s business manager was accused of fraud or embezzlement; the parable isn’t specific about this detail because it isn’t pertinent to the parable’s meaning.  The dishonest steward used his last few hours in the wealthy man’s household to gain benefactors.  Naturally, he did this by being dishonest. 

Apparently, the wealthy man had a sense of humor because he commended the dishonest manager for acting shrewdly.  The wealthy man also realized that the favorable restructuring of debts made him look as generous as his soon-to-be-unemployed manager.  Everyone benefited despite the fact that the cause of their good fortune was the manager’s selfish behavior. 

Jesus summarized the meaning of the parable by saying, “the children of this world are more prudent in dealing with their own than are the children of light.” (Lk 16:8)  He wasn’t praising dishonesty.  Rather, he was praising prudent, that is, pragmatic behavior.  The dishonest manager knew what he wanted and, crucially, he knew how to get it.  Jesus is not recommending selfish behavior; he is recommending that, if you want to go to heaven, you should do everything necessary to accomplish God’s will. 

In the event that anyone among his disciples was uncertain about how to accomplish God’s will, Jesus spelled it out in simple terms.  He said, “If, therefore, you are not trustworthy with dishonest wealth, who will trust you with true wealth?  If you are not trustworthy with what belongs to another, who will give you what is yours?” (Lk 16:11-12) 

Unfortunately, the meaning of these sayings above is lost in our English translation.  The sayings are a play on the Aramaic word “mammon.”  The wordplay derives from the fact that the words “mammon” and “amen” are etymologically related.  “Mammon” is any created thing that is seen as trustworthy, and “amen” means to trust or believe. 

The term “dishonest wealth” refers to two separate things: the dishonest manager and created good.  Even the most valuable created things do not last forever.  Wealth is, therefore, “dishonest” in the sense that it can be trusted as a source of lasting security, but it cannot deliver that security to its owner.  In this way, all created things are like the dishonest manager; they promise lasting trustworthiness but cannot be trusted to last forever.  The “wealth that belongs to others” is the created good of the universe that comes from God and remains God’s possession.  The phrase “what is yours” means the promise of salvation by God. 

Jesus’ instruction about how to achieve eternal happiness is to use prudently all one’s strengths, opportunities, and possessions to serve God’s will.  And what is God’s will?  It is, as the parable suggests, making certain that everyone benefits from one’s actions. 

The dishonest steward is an example of that old joke that “even a stopped clock is right twice a day.”  He did good to those around him without intending to do so.  Jesus says that accidental or occasional kindness toward others is insufficient; God’s will is accomplished when one lives an intentional and consistent ethic of mercy and generosity to all people. 

Please note, kindness offered to some, but not all is the sort of prudence practiced by sinners and the faithless; the dishonest manager in the parable showed limited kindness in order to get himself out of a difficult situation.  The prudence demanded of Jesus’ disciples is to imitate the equanimity of the wealthy man who was willing to endure a difficult situation so that all would benefit – this is what is required to enter God’s kingdom.