Recently, a friend of mine remarked that our society has devolved to imitate reality tv.  My friend explained that the various reality television shows select participants who are most likely to act inappropriately on camera.  The public spectacle of people behaving badly, and being well paid for it, has created a new kind of role model whose example creates a race to the bottom of the heap of vulgar behavior. 

There was a time when it was said that “art imitates life.”  Now, it seems that life imitates entertainment.  I would add a clarification to my friend’s judgment about society.  It isn’t simply that viewers imitate the coarse behavior of reality tv contestants; rather, they alternate between coarse behavior and the judgmentalism that reality tv intends to elicit about coarse behavior. 

A very different mindset is perceptible in the behavior of the Holy Family of Nazareth.  After a rather startling visit by wise men from a foreign country, Joseph emigrated to Egypt in order to avoid Herod’s murderous plot.  When it was safe to do so, he moved the family back to Galilee.  

In situations that would cause reality tv contestants to conspire against their enemies, Joseph humbly accepted the responsibility to care for his family.  In situations that would cause mascara-soaked tears by some reality tv contestants, Mary never complained about the hardships she endured. 

As God offers help and guidance to all people, it would be too facile to say that Joseph and Mary were able to rise above extraordinary problems because they enjoyed a special outpouring of God’s Grace.  To what, then, can we attribute the consistent trust in God demonstrated by Joseph and Mary?  I suggest that the same dynamic that causes our society to imitate boorish entertainment caused Joseph and Mary to act with exemplary faith and hope. 

The social environment in which one lives conditions one’s thoughts and actions.  Here, in our locale, the effects of coastal, beach-going, fun-in-the-sun culture are visible everywhere.  The architecture of public and private buildings, the decor of restaurants, even the style of popular clothing reflect beach resort culture.  Every person normalizes what is common and standard in their environment.   

Entertainment leads many people to normalize what they see on their screens.  Joseph and Mary normalized what they saw in God’s will.  Joseph and Mary lived in a very different fashion from what is common today because of the experiences with which they filled their lives.   

Joseph and Mary were very devout.  They had a practiced awareness of God’s providence.  Their priority was always their son’s safety and care.  Simply put, they did not demand to be the center of other people’s attention; this stands in stark contrast to what is considered normal in our society. 

Obviously, Joseph and Mary structured their family life to be an appropriate environment for the incarnate Son of God, but Joseph and Mary weren’t automatons; they chose freely to live in the manner portrayed in the Gospels.  As Joseph and Mary chose freely to cooperate with God’s will, we must acknowledge that we can do the same. 

I’d like to offer a perspective on structuring a family’s life; as this perspective is based in the Scriptures, it applies without regard to the unique composition of individual families.  Instead of demanding attention, pay attention.  Pay attention to the people around you, give your attention to the people you’re with, and pay attention to the influence your example has on others. 

Joseph, Mary, and Jesus lived together as a holy family because they gave their attention to God and one another, not demanding to be the center of attention.  The warped perspective of our society tells us always to be performing, always to act as if we’re “on stage,” always to seek attention.  The consequence of this perspective is that we’re trapped in a cycle of brutish behavior and shaming others for their brutish behavior. 

The Holy Family of Nazareth demonstrates that human nature is not predestined to be trapped in a race to the bottom of the heap of failed morals.  Decency, responsibility, and trust are not unattainable ideals; they are what God intends to be normal for us.